Ever feel like you're just spinning your wheels? Molly doesn't.
Hello Twitter, I am coming to you live from a pile of my own fetid waste products.
Regardless, the dinner date ended early.
"Man, I bet announcing that we're ready to kill a dude is going to get me a lot of retweets!"
Pretty sure you could skip church this time and heaven would understand.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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