The USDA understands that it is impossible to achieve perfect results when packaging food for market. Some contamination is inevitable. It is up to the USDA to determine levels of foreign body contamination for various food products that are above zero, but safe for human consumption. Laboratory testing determines safety. It is up to the producer to determine what level of compliance will keep their foods palatable to consumers. The following updated listings should be considered in effect immediately.
Due to changes in federal regulations regarding "swag," the USDA will no longer be selling "USDA PRIME" sanitary napkins. Please eat safely!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.