A few days ago, a British scientist named Stephen Wolfram launched one of the most ambitious projects in the history of the Internet: Wolfram Alpha, a site which aims to condense all human knowledge into some kind of a thing that you can talk to with your computer. The site, though still in its infancy, is already being met with really boring articles and complete misunderstanding from all corners of the tech media. To help you understand this complex new technology, we've delved into the thing for some first impressions.
First, a simple calculation to demonstrate the powers of Wolfram Alpha: what proportion of the total gross national product of the United States is represented by box office receipts of Ernest Goes to Camp?
A respectable 0.0001689 percent! Now, something a little more controversial: how many times could a struggling New Orleans native watch Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" during Hurricane Katrina?
The answer: Not enough times! Next, something a little more scientifical: how much Ishtar can a human being endure before his musculature begins to break down?
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.