A few days ago, a British scientist named Stephen Wolfram launched one of the most ambitious projects in the history of the Internet: Wolfram Alpha, a site which aims to condense all human knowledge into some kind of a thing that you can talk to with your computer. The site, though still in its infancy, is already being met with really boring articles and complete misunderstanding from all corners of the tech media. To help you understand this complex new technology, we've delved into the thing for some first impressions.
First, a simple calculation to demonstrate the powers of Wolfram Alpha: what proportion of the total gross national product of the United States is represented by box office receipts of Ernest Goes to Camp?
A respectable 0.0001689 percent! Now, something a little more controversial: how many times could a struggling New Orleans native watch Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" during Hurricane Katrina?
The answer: Not enough times! Next, something a little more scientifical: how much Ishtar can a human being endure before his musculature begins to break down?
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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