A few days ago, a British scientist named Stephen Wolfram launched one of the most ambitious projects in the history of the Internet: Wolfram Alpha, a site which aims to condense all human knowledge into some kind of a thing that you can talk to with your computer. The site, though still in its infancy, is already being met with really boring articles and complete misunderstanding from all corners of the tech media. To help you understand this complex new technology, we've delved into the thing for some first impressions.
First, a simple calculation to demonstrate the powers of Wolfram Alpha: what proportion of the total gross national product of the United States is represented by box office receipts of Ernest Goes to Camp?
A respectable 0.0001689 percent! Now, something a little more controversial: how many times could a struggling New Orleans native watch Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" during Hurricane Katrina?
The answer: Not enough times! Next, something a little more scientifical: how much Ishtar can a human being endure before his musculature begins to break down?
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.