I haven't seen Avatar, due to my long-standing policy of avoidance regarding films that use any form of the phrase "we're not in Kansas anymore" during their trailers. I'm glad they included this dialogue, because otherwise I might have become immersed in Pandora, the movie's purportedly not-Kansas-like fantasy world, and then suffered from crippling disillusionment when I exited the theater and realized that I was, again, very much in Kansas. This is a real thing that happens to people, as chronicled in the three-parts-and-counting Avatar Forums thread "Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible." Unlike most crazy-sounding stories forwarded about the Internet with the vaguely credible citation "it's true, it was on CNN," this actually is true, and it was reported on CNN.
I can relate to these people and their feelings of profound unfulfillment: I was totally inconsolable when I realized I might not live long enough to witness the awe-inspiring futuristic wonderland depicted in the film Aeon Flux. I built a hanging mobile of the film's magnificent floating dirigible, and watched it longingly every night as Graeme Revell's majestic score steered my dreams toward the walled city of Bregna. I had my feet surgically replaced with a second set of hands. And I started concocting a virus that will kill 99 percent of the Earth's population in 2011, thus hopefully setting the film's events into motion. I guess what I'm saying is: Stop whining, people, and make Pandora happen! You can start by cross-breeding with cats and scanning the Alpha Centauri star system for undiscovered moons.
Suggestions from Avatar Forums members about how to deal with Post-Avatar Depression:
Someday, Bregna. Someday.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.