At a Glance: When is the Bible NOT like a Buffet? It's a buffet of the mind. And thanks to Wisdom Tree, I can finally play a board game that's exactly like the Bible. Do you remember when Noah planted a barrel and killed those pizza slices? I do. But enough about my dreams, let's move on to this game. It wouldn't do to explore the mysteries and adventures of the Bible without actually getting all of you involved, so I made these handy dandy question sheets for you to print out and enjoy as you go through this game. Play along!
Platform: NES (Download Emulator here - 192k)
Download: Download ROM here - 133k
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Five jokes for the sticks in the mud:
1) This game is exactly like Mario Party. Jesus is Mario, Mary is Peach, Judas is Wario, and Moses is Shyguy.
2) A board game for the NES with bible trivia? AND I get to fight food along the way? Hold me back, everybody!
3) The only thing that makes me happier than figuring out what Moses did in the desert is blowing up a piece of pie with a barrel of explosives.
4) This game helps educate kids how to overcome bullies by imagining them as candy, then throwing torches into their faces.
5) Can't these programmers come up with something original? When you answer a question correctly in this game you either get to skip ahead so many spaces, a key to some random house you don't own, or a human heart. You would expect the developers not to pull directly from real life when making a game about food murdering Christian children. Is this Christian gaming has been reduced to?
Now, onto the fun part, Rom Pitters... it's time to play the Bible Buffet Rom Pit Special Edition Game! Just follow the rules below, print out the sample questions, and get ready to Biblenate!
Contents: (1) Bible Buffet Rom, (1) piece of paper, (1) afternoon of nothing to do, (1) sheet of questions supplied by Kevin "The Goblin" Wilson, (0) girlfriend, (1) beverage, (1) love, (1) life, when it's (1) need in the night
Step #1-5: begin "Bible Buffet" game, set the appriopriate number of players (more than likely just one), set question number to "666", enter your name(s), and cry.
Step #6: After another brief cry, play the game by spinning the wheel with the (A) button.
Step #7: Refer to the easily understandable sheet below when you encounter trivia. You can find the printable copy here.
Step #9: First one to the finish wins!
Step #10: If you encounter question numbers different than this specific group, remember...why do you care?
Step #11: no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just asked why you cared. It's just a silly game.
Step #12: No, you cannot be the only unicorn on Noah's boat.
Step #13: Okay, okay, okay. Stop crying. Yes you can.
Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible -10 score (-10 being the worst). The overall score is based out of a possible -50 score (-50 being the worst).
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
The Rom Pit is dedicated to reviewing the most bizarre and screwed up classic console games from the 1980's, the ones that made you wonder what kind of illegal substances the programmers were smoking when they worked on them. Strangely enough, the same illegal substances are often necessary to enjoy or make sense of most of these titles. No horrible Nintendo game is safe from the justice of the ROM Pit.