Capcom and White Wolf wanted you to forget this abomination ever existed, but we're not going to let them! Back in 1994, White Wolf teamed up with the makers of the Street Fighter games to create one of the most ridiculous roleplaying game products ever devised. The concept combined White Wolf's then-innovative Storytelling System for tabletop RPGs, which emphasized story over combat, with Street Fighter, a video game series with basically no story and nothing but combat. The results were spectacularly...something.
Zack: That cover is gonna produce one hell of a Missed Connections ad.
Steve: It must be New York. You can see the World Trade Center.
Zack: Green Machine - m4w - East Harlem - I was wearing nothing but jorts and a smile. You were in some weird swimsuit/beret outfit. You kicked me around, my mutant electricity shocked you through a fence. Some creepy guy in a mask watched. I felt IT. Did you?
Steve: I would date the heck out of Cammy. I bet she could teach me karate moves and then take out her boobs.
Steve: And her boobs would be amazing. Like the second or third best in the world ever.
Zack: She always reminded me of an R. Crumb character someone injected with steroids. Her and that thunder thighs Chun-Li. Do you think she could still kick ass without a head?Steve: Where would you put the beret?
Zack: I'm sure we could come up with somewhere comically misogynistic.
Steve: How about in the kitchen?
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.