It's no surprise that adults who spend time debating the merits of video games on the Internet say weird things. But when people feel comfortable talking about the sexual tastes of video game characters on the website owned and operated by the company who made the games, and no one tries to stop them? Well, then you know you've struck gold. Which is why I'm more than happy to bring you the sad tale of the Bioware Social Network forums.

"It started off as an analysis of Tali's sweat, trying to figure out what it would smell and taste like ... "

OK, so maybe I didn't make a flow chart, but I have diagrams drawn up if you don't believe me. Extensive diagrams.

A gentleman does not penetrate a cartoon's anus without request.

Guys! Did you hear me the first time?

Oh, good, some Bioware employees. Finally someone's going to put an end to this madn -- .... no. Oh no!

Speaking of squee, let's never speak of squee again.

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