But still, the dread pirate Hambone the Gristly sat restless upon his handsome chair. His men were complacent and lazy; his enemies, fearless and cholesterol-free. It was simply unacceptable.
He grunted and roared and ordered his trustiest captains to begin to prepare his men for war. A great war. The greatest war. A war which would bring he, the dread pirate Hambone, much renown and tribute and truffles.
From deep beneath the watery depths...
...an infernal army arose.
The ships were crewed by conscripts from the watery underworld.
Creatures so terrible that even the sharks dared not approach them.
With their leader at the helm, the vast and evil horde of Hambone mustered...
...and took to the skies, in search of mischief wherever the winds might take them.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Second Life Safari highlights a magical and mystical adventure through the bowels of the Internet. We take a look behind the scenes of "Second Life," and present to you the things all other media outlets are too embarrassed to show. Social networking hits another new low, and can only be seen in Second Life Safari.