You might assume that there would be a lot of annoyed people in suits, and there probably were plenty of those behind closed doors somewhere. Pitbull himself, however, showed up to Alaska this week eager to meet his fans, and he brought David with him. Despite the absolute mind-shattering absurdity of the situation I've just described, all of this really did happen, and here are the tweets to prove it.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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