Friends don't let friends watch Harry Potter then design point-and-click adventures while drunk. 4/10
Fate: Undiscovered Realms
A second-rate Diablo clone that's better than Hellgate: London by virtue of not releasing a poisonous gas when you open the box. 5/10
Saints Row 2
How about that, an open-world game that gives you stupid, fun things to do instead of spending a $600 million budget to write in a sandbox and cordon it off with velvet rope. 8/10
So scary, you'll think twice before going into outer space by yourself again. 9/10
A shooter that gives you the ability to manipulate the ground, eliminating the need to find a deep pit to fill with underwhelming gimmick-fps games. 5/10
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood
The best Sonic-related game since Sonic Adventure, but the presence of "dark" "brother" and "hood" in the title might turn off the McCain/Palin rally audience demographic. 7/10
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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