This was the only, ONLY, picture I found on the website.Today's ALOD isn't so much Pro-Smoker, as it is anti Anti-Smoker. Oh, and absolutely fucking crazy. Sure, putting smoke and tar into your body to relax is a little stupid, but I'm not going to remind you of this every waking moment of my life - it's your choice. It's also your choice to subject yourself to the 11,538 words that are on the front page alone, which would also be slowly poisoning your body to death.
In the interest of public health and safety, what I've decided to do for the article is "summarize", by which I mean I'm gonna randomly copy and paste sentences from the webpage and see if I can come up with a more coherent message.
"'The health nannies' arbitrary ban on a legal and heavily taxed product bodes ill for the future marketing of Mountain Dew and Moon Pies." And what about how you incompetents have been letting the anti-smokers screw the American people all these years, you self-absorbed twit? THIS IS AN INDICTMENT FOR SYSTEMATIC FRAUD! ALL OF THEIR STUDIES ARE FRAUDS, NO MATTER HOW THEY REPACKAGE THEM! "'Daddy's gas could kill us all!' exclaims a young girl in a new public service advertisement (PSA) from the American Legacy Foundation.
And don't forget their willing accomplices, either: THOSE WORTHLESS EUNUCHS and their TRAITOR LEADERS, WHO WHINE ABOUT THEIR BUSINESSES, BUT REFUSE TO EXPOSE THE BLOODSUCKERS' SCIENTIFIC FRAUD AND CALL THEM ON THEIR CORRUPTION!
We loathe you! We despise you! We hate your guts and we want you to die! We should be supporting al-Qaida, and help to wipe your corrupt, lying government off the face of the earth!
Infectious agents have long been PROVEN to cause cancer, so ALL studies that ignore infection are INHERENTLY defective. Cigarettes Can't Ignite Gasoline - AND SMOKERS HAVE TO PAY FOR IT. Prions: The Conspiracy to Push Vegetarianism. Here's the so-called "freedom" our soldiers are supposed to die for. Its roots are in the World War II political machine that created the O.S.S. and the C.I.A.
Mind Control by Electromagnetic Fields: Is this how the anti-smokers shove their unjust laws and exorbitant tax increases down the country's throat?See how they parrot every one of the Syndicate's vicious lies about tobacco. Jeffrey Skilling's boss was a Trustee of the American Health Foundation. Yet the anti-smokers simply ignore infection! This is deliberate and eggregious scientific fraud. Bacteria Cause Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Nicotine is anti-bacterial.
And that's why you should smoke.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.
Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful