HEY EVERYONE I HAVE A WEB PAGE, submitted by Aestro. The desire to raise children and raise them right is a noble cause. Some people are so passionate about their children, especially good old Cartlton Corbitt who has everything already planned out.

11
Geometry and Trig, Reading ~300words/min, typing ~ 50words/min, Web Development, and Anatomy and Physiology

Age 12
Becomes attracted to men

Carlton's web page is filled with so many interesting things that you could just get lost there for hours. Here is his girlfriend's family tree. This is some amazing shit folks!

I don't understand why anyone would want to create a shrine for themselves and put it up on the internet for everybody to see. But hey, I'm not a big player at the First United Methodist Church. Hopefully this exposure on our little humor site will give Carton Corbitt the much needed attention he desires for so dearly.

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2020 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.