Ocean, submitted by Hekima. Ocean is the best vegan mermaid pop singer ever! Her anti-Bush manifesto is like something Captain Planet would write if he were a nutty ultra left wing democrat. Oh, and did I mention that she thinks she’s a mermaid and writes in run-on sentences that defy all known laws of sentence structure and just seem to keep going on and on forever and ever like this one?

A subject long having held fascination for me, as for many, many little girls. I know not when, but at some point in my childhood, having seen or heard of these magical beings who seemed so free, so powerful, so independent, and so intrinsically beautiful, that I longed to be one, to see one, to at least believe that they, too , exist in the world, in their own underwater realm, watching us when we swim, following our clambering lives, actually, feeling sorry for us mere landlubbing mortals.

This woman’s publicity photos scare me as it looks like she’s about to swallow my soul. I wasn’t able to check out her music but I assume it’s wonderful new age with dubbed orca sounds. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go to the metaphysical store to buy more incense.

– Jedidiah (@notoriousamoeba)

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