Chase Banking, submitted by Me. I know Chase Bank doesn't have the normal things an ALOD does. The design looks like any other bank's site and they don't offer any extraordinary services that warrant them a teasing. They do have one thing, though, that makes me hate them and their site with the burning intensity of a million suns:
That fucking commercial.
You know the one. It's got the cover of the Mary Tyler Moore song except it's some kind of grrrl power band and they're all poppy and punky, remember? And there's some "free spirited" girl who got her first paycheck (which she will hopefully use for plastic surgery that makes her looks less like a gigantic ugly snake). If you live in South Central Indiana, even if you don't watch television, it's impossible not to see that fucking thing six or seven times a day. One time I was watching a Pacers game the other night and I kept count of how many times they showed it in that three hour period. I kept a paper tally and everything. You know how many times they aired that piece of shit? Guess.
Since Dr. David Thorpe wouldn't take my suggestion on doing a Your Band Sucks about the song and I'm sure you guys don't want to read a whole update of me bitching about it, here it is. If anyone can find a video of that girl getting her face smashed in with a bag of petrified dog shit please forward it to me. I don't have a lot of money but I can pay you your weight in Looney Tunes "Attitude" T-shirts.
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.