Extreme Computing - The Cybo, submitted by David. The title claims, "The future is now." If the future is hundreds of graduate students wearing pounds of wires and hunks of metal on their head, I might as well shoot myself now.
In Vedic culture, the honorific 'Sri' or 'Shree', meaning 'True' is bestowed upon great men and women, usually spiritual gurus. (For example, Sri Aurobindo). In European culture, the title 'Sir' is bestowed on great men as a recognition of merit and service. (Sir Isaac Newton). Now, Extreme Computing bestows the honorary title 'Cy' to those great souls who are leading the way into our techno future. Those brave men and women who, resistant to the jeering purists strive with all their power to higher and higher echelons of techno integration.
Our "techno future"? "Techno integration"? What kind of crap is this? People are taping mp3 players to their skull, big whoopdy doo. It doesn't mean they're a cyborg, it means they shouldn't be trusted with any more tape.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
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