Rick Mills, Body Paint Model (thanks palmy) - Have you ever wondered where charities and events get those crazy idiots wearing thongs that they cover in body paint? No? Well, I'm going to tell you anyway! If they're in the UK then they get them from Rick Mills, expert body paint canvas.
Rick can be anything you want, from a flabby tiger to a flabby alien to a flabby...mutant combination of...I guess all of the characters from the Wizard of Oz.
Being painted is something that I greatly enjoy, and so I am always keen to hear from people who are interested in using me as a model. As I have already had a lot of experience at modelling for body painting, I know the importance of keeping still while being painted, and am friendly and easy to work with. I would really like to model for a body painting competition such as the ones at Olympia, Birmingham NEC and Manchester G-MEX that are organised for students studying Beauty Therapy and Theatrical and Media Make-up.
I think Beauty Therapy is what you do when you've seen too many attractive people wearing nice clothes. You go and look at Rick Mills and his menagerie of doughy losers covered in grease paint. Rick also fancies himself a body paint artist and considers the act of body painting to be the second most intimate form of expression next to lovemaking. Which means Rick would love to paint you up and pop boners galore.
Don't mind that! It's just paint shooting out of his body!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.