Internet catchphrases, or memes, have been around for what seems like an eternity. In fact, did you know that the first email ever sent was from one Pentagon official to his superior all the way back in 1957? It's true! Based on official documents from the time, we know that the content of this historic email was a list of Borat jokes. Unfortunately, also based on official documents from the time, we know that Kazakhstan was a province of the evil Soviet empire and that the hapless sender was promptly arrested for treason and eventually executed. Great success! High five!
This week, we're going to take a look at some of the near and not so near misses made by the creators of other memes. How many were able to capitalize on their previous memes? How many simply rehashed the same formula in an attempt to stretch out their 15 minutes of fame for as long as possible (here's my guess: most of them)? Remember: on the internet, if "x" = "success", than "more x" = "more success" and by extension, "so much x that it makes your fucking head explode" = "movie deal".
We start this week with the follow up to one of the most popular memes ever: "I'm the Juggernaut Bitch". A meme so incredibly mildly amusing that it actually wormed it's way into one of the actual X-Men movies. Were the creators able to equal the success and sorta-comedy of the first? Unfortunately, the answer is "no".
Plot/Writing: 2 or 3 guys use a whole lot of ha-ha-hilarious profanity to overdub a Street Fighter anime. And yes, these are the same guys that did Juggernaut; that is, this isn't a parody or something. In fact, if you've seen Juggernaut, you know the plot already: the overdubbers have never watched the cartoon in question and try to make a cohesive, impromptu, profanity-laced plot as they go. Unfortunately, this basically translates to a lot of rape jokes and people getting called "bitch". My score? 3/10.
Comedy/Interest Value: WOW COOL 6 MINUTES OF ANIME WITH SHITTY PULP FICTION-ESQUE DIALOGUE DUBBED OVER IT!!!!!!!! My score? 2/10.
Technical/Execution: It sounds like they went out and bought some 5 dollar Wal-Mart PC microphones, and then thought "Nah, this doesn't sound NEARLY shitty enough" before cutting them open and stripping out all the grounding. BZZZYouBZZZareBZZZaBZZZbitch,BZZZDhalsimBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. There is literally nothing more deserving of my time than listening to terrible "funny" dialogue over the backdrop of a wiring problem. My score? 3/10.
Creativity: This is literally the Juggernaut video dubbed over Street Fighter characters instead of X-Men characters. My score? 1/10.
Final Thoughts: Just because something is sorta funny for one brief, golden moment doesn't mean you should bust out your credit card and plan a day trip to the Dead Horse store. My final score? 9/40.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!