All Kidz Newz articles were written by the students of Mr. Brown's Ages 7-12 Learning Program in Cook County Temporary Camp Daley-Orange on Chicago's South Side. Grownups, get out! This newz is for kidz and by kidz!
READING IS THE BEST by Barack Obama Johnson
Reading is the best thing! I love to read. My mommy gets me books almost every day from the old library.
She says the Puerto Ricans run the library. My mommy looks Puerto Rican but she is African American. She is really pretty and she says she just goes into the library and smiles and they give her books. She even wears a special dress to go to the library.
My mommy used to be a architect. She said the world can take everything away from you but not what you read in a book. She said some day I can go to a college Loopways. My daddy and my mommy aren't friends anymore. He lives in Big Rust. He used to make the cars and now he is a soldier but not for the army.
He came to visit once in our house that mommy and her friends built. He gave mommy some food chits but they had blood on them so she burned them. He got real mad at this and hit mommy. She told him never to come back. Sometimes mommy's friends come to visit. She told me to look at the wall and cover my ears when they visit.
Sometimes they leave presents. Sometimes they are bad men but Mommy has a gun she traded from the puerto ricans. One time mommy shot a man and then she cried.
He kept making a bubbly sound for a long time and then he groaned and stopped moving Mommy told me not to look but I looked and I saw when he died. I am going to be a doctor.
Say Bye Bye to Policeman by Ashlee Simpson Vargus
My mommy used to be a policeman. She was shot with a pipe gun in ditch town. They put pieces of metal in the pipe and it exploded and hit my mommy's spine. She can't walk and uncle greg has to help her go potty.
Mommy and me and dylan and uncle greg used to live in a house. Nobody else lived around us except sometimes people would come into the other houses and then mommy would call the police and they would scare them off.
Mommy says now the policemen won't come anymore. She said they turned off the water and the electricity so I can't watch the TV anymore. And then the criminals came in and told mommy and uncle greg and me and dylan to leave.
They beat up uncle greg real bad and mommy said they would have killed him but she gave away all our money.
The bad men live in our house and all the houses now and mommy and me and uncle greg and dylan live in an old school building in ditch town. It's funner here but its also scary. Mommy says the police and the army
will never help us here. Thats okay because I have tons more friends and the ear ring brotherhood have a truce with the latim kings right now.
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.