Lamule Seachrist (more)

FYI I do NOT want to work with non-whites and that does not make me a racist.

  • Horrid whistling sounds just from breathing through nose
  • Maltese nudity crimes (unproven)
  • Speaks no language
Johnths Hopkinths (more)

Looking for a mommy to give me a jobby. Are you my mommy? Where's my mommy?

  • Screeches when tickled
  • 24/7 Adult baby lifestyle
  • Can I park my motorcycle in the office?
Llinda Feckwulf (more) THIS IS WHAT THEY"RE KEEPING FROM US plz google "AMERO"

  • Extremely heavy sweats
  • Computer panic
  • Literal Mollusc
Simbrexa Lionking (more)

I am currently incarcerated wrongly on the second half of a hard 20 for lighting off pipe bombs in a puma enclosure which I did not do.

  • Serious bite risk
  • Master brewer (toilet)
  • Killed a man with a bed spring


Gahandi Gayloatts (more)

Hello lady I want to scoop something please. Friend from Khyber searching a wife.

  • Macaroni man (is me)
  • Soft kisses on your fog blossom
  • Scoop something out

Part Time Tickler

Richest baby hiring tickler. Will trade 2-5 minutes gentle belly tickles for $9 and throw in book where you feel different textures. I am mirthless and horribly soiled. May react unexpectedly with anger. I am a real baby, not an adult baby, just very large for a baby. NOT an adult baby.

$9.00 + fuzzy book

Beta Tester Needed

Gregg's Ggranite has made a "shooter game" to promote our slab and cut granite business. We are currently hiring 16 beta testers at our Palo Alto software facility to test Code: Watercutter. Be the first to test this amazing adventure. Working knowledge of stone cutting required.

$6.50 per hour, half in retail granite value

Harry Potter lookalike needed

I am filming a movie of harry potter to compete with other movies (free market) and I need harry potter lookalike to do stunts and nude scenes for me. Title of movie is HARRY POTTER AND THE GLADIATORS OF PADDLEBUM. Filming this summer in my basement set up identically to Hogwarts scary bathroom.

Free Pepsis and massages

Soldiers of Fortune Need Apply

Are you looking for adventure? On-the-job training? Outdoors work with great pay? There are cats in trees in my neighborhood. How do they get up there? What do they want? Find out for me, you don't actually have to get them down. Must have own ladder. I am an old man and just want to talk but I promise I did not put those cats up to this.

$1.00 per week plus mike ikes candy and if you are nice I will give you a disc movie my grandson gave me that I couldn't figure out.


– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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