One Sentence Reviews

Mass Effect
I really wanted to give it a ten because it's pretty much the game I've always wanted, but my squadmates ran in front of me and blocked the "1" and "0" keys after I told them to stay behind cover. 9/10

Rock Band
It's fantastic for people who have friends, so you and I should just rent it and complain about the single player game on internet forums. 8/10

They should have just pressed a disc containing nothing but the cgi render of Angelina Jolie from the movie and been happy with to sell exactly as many copies as Dead Or Alive Xtreme 2. 4/10

Bee Movie Game
Please stop infringing on this feature's territory of "things with intentionally generic titles". 6/10

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
Indiana Jones And The Best Licensed Game That Was Never Licensed. 8/10

Time Crisis 4
I thought the Wii was supposed to get all the lightgun games and titles that look like they're ten years old. 6/10

WWE Smackdown! vs. Raw 2008
The controls are as natural and accurate as piloting a fighter jet by slamming your head into the control panel in the general direction you want to fly. 3/10

Anubis 2
Gets one point for controls that are so horrible that you'll quit in frustration, sparing you from hours of torture. 1/10

Unreal Tournament 3
For the first time since UT 2004, those of us who crave "bulky men shooting each other in the face with goo" action have an alternative to Craigslist. 8/10

You Are Empty
Sensing the hatred and criticism that are about to be leveed against it, the game lashes out with its title as a preemptive strike. 1/10

Flight Simulator X: Acceleration
Everything you've ever wanted to do in a plane aside from smacking loudmouth kids. 8/10

Mario Party DS
A great start, now let's hope Nintendo gives this plucky game a sequel! 8/10

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)

More Video Game Article

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2021 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful