FACT: Action movies are the most popular movie genre around.
That's not science fiction, it's science FACT. Also, it's not science fiction, because it's action! Held from April 15-18 in Asheville, North Carolina, Actionfest is not actually awful (using one of my annual exemptions here), and it even generates a surplus of goodwill by handing Chuck Norris a Lifetime Achievement Award without including any stupid Norris FACT jokes in his bio. The movie lineup offers such attractions as the Michael-Caine-kicking-ass vehicle Harry Brown and the South Korean western The Good, The Bad and The Weird, as well as the world premiere of a "Stone Cold" Steve Austin movie, and the unveiling of a 28-minute-long Melissa Auf der Maur video for some reason. If you're in Asheville or a nearby area, this is obviously your coolest fucking entertainment option for this weekend. For everyone else, this is just the kind of event that it's good to know exists; hopefully it will spawn regional imitators.
NOTE: Despite Actionfest's misleading slogan, Body Count will not be performing. Nor will the novelty ska band Gals Panic, whose 1996 song "Chuck Norris Action Jeans" was clearly ahead of its time. Instead, you get Asheville's Reigning Sound, a quality band (featuring a dude from Oblivians) that sounds a bit more action-packed than it looks.
NOTE 2: Speaking of misleading, pay no attention to the films pictured underneath the logo. Actionfest isn't screening Die Hard and Robocop. Scroll down toward the bottom of the home page to check out the real, impressive lineup.
You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
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