Lividity, submitted by Acid. You know what makes me happy? If you said, "A website about crappy shock-rock band's new revolting album, featuring their ridiculously grotesque lyrics and pages of pictures of the band members showing off their pasty whiteness," you're absolutely right. Oh wait, I said "absolutely right" when I meant "so far from right, you're a freaking hippy." Lividity is the hottest thing to hit death metal since Rod Stewart, with such hits as "Rectal Wench," My Cock It Bleeds," "Randomly Raped Rectum" (nice alliteration, no?), and "Dismembering Her Lifeless Corpse." I worked in a porn store for three years, and their lyrics still give me the willies. Their website, which is about as pleasant to look at as a steamrolled placenta, gives show dates (sorry, you missed them all already), their fun-filled discography, and page after page of pictures featuring the four band members with their shirts off. Gaze in wonder at the Fat One, the Hairy One, the Kind Of Fat One, and the Scrawny One! I apologize in advance to anyone who is mortified into a coma by these lyrics (read: everyone).
I will rape you from behind, stench of your virginity overwhelms! Forcing my cock to mouth! Suck it you worthless whore! Grinding, pumping, ripping, tearing, raping til' you're dead! Make you vomit feces, all over my dick! Fucking in both holes, pleasure to me, sacred act of killing! I will rape and fuck you til' there's nothing left to rape and fuck, then fuck some more! Ignore your screams for mercy! God can't save me, my mind is bound, crucified! My guilt is laid upon the cross for all the world to see! I will slit you up your crack, aroused by virgin blood, cumming on your bloodstained tits! Both chicks, dead by now! More I need, man, my dick is stiff now! Reach back and lick it, never will I miss the stench of shit that overwhelms all of my sense of reason! Fucking your ass 'til your body turns numb! You will cry and scream, as I pump in your ass! Beg for me to quit! All of the pain that I've inflicted, why don't I just kill you now?! Cry and scream as I pump in your ass (x4)! The pain goes on! To dine on flesh, and beat the corpse into submission! Prosthetics decay as I rot in the bowels of disease!
Those, of course, are the lyrics to "Stench of Virginity." Delicious. The above picture features two of the band members ragin' it old-school through that nature walk. The site includes a link to a small sample of Lividity's on mp3.com. I took the liberty of checking out a couple of their songs. Now, I'll admit that I'm a fan of death metal, because I'm an idiot who is easily amused by loud noises and shiny objects. This stuff sucks. I read along with the lyrics as I listened to their songs. Usually, when I do that, I have no problem picking out the lyrics, no matter how unintelligibly the lead singer shouts. I swear to you, whatever Lividity's singer is yelling, it is not their lyrics. It's not even English. But hey, don't take my word for it. Listen for yourself. You'll find the lyrics right here. Once you've reached an educated opinion, you can share it with the band in their very own guestbook. Hooray!
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.