IT'S A TRAP!
I feel like 20 pounds of shit in an eight pound shit sack and rather than write a sassy, self-pitying update, I will be merciful and just do an Awful Link of the Day.
To see you through this, here is a picture of Michael J. Beverage:
Cliff Yablonski Still Isn't Too Fond of You!
In a shocking moment of truth, I was able to pick up on the fact that Cliff Yablonski just might not like you! Three pages of you, to be exact!
Now that's a spicy meatball! Head on over to Cliff's fantabulous website and discover the many, many reasons why you are not held dear to his heart.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.