IT'S A TRAP!
I feel like 20 pounds of shit in an eight pound shit sack and rather than write a sassy, self-pitying update, I will be merciful and just do an Awful Link of the Day.
To see you through this, here is a picture of Michael J. Beverage:
Cliff Yablonski Still Isn't Too Fond of You!
In a shocking moment of truth, I was able to pick up on the fact that Cliff Yablonski just might not like you! Three pages of you, to be exact!
Now that's a spicy meatball! Head on over to Cliff's fantabulous website and discover the many, many reasons why you are not held dear to his heart.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.