ApologetiX Christian Weird Al Yankovic music parodies, submitted by FoodStampBrown. I'm not the biggest Weird Al fan. I do appreciate him on some level, but I mostly just ignore him since I'm not 12 anymore and don't want to get laughed at. ApologetiX, the Christian equivalent of Weird Al (Al is apparently a Satanist or something) continues the tradition of changing the lyrics to popular songs to make them comical. Whereas Weird Al tries to be funny with humor, ApologetiX tries to be funny with Bible lessons. Believe it or not, it works. These songs are so jam packed with goofy Christian propaganda they manage to be quite hilarious, albeit on a more pathetic level. Their jokes suck, but the fact that they went to all this effort to make them and failed is rather enjoyable. I'm sure Jesus is up in heaven with Yuri Andropov taking delight in the knowledge that a bunch of nerdy men rewrote Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" into an anti-evolution rant or Kid Rock's "Cowboy" into "Choirboy," which is as gay as it sounds. The one genuine comforting fact is that these yokels aren't ruining quality music. You can partake of a pretty sizeable collection of terrible song parodies dripping with the Good Word of God (they want your e-mail first, but you can make like Jesus and sacrifice), in addition to seeing what kind of fancy mutants comprise a band this sad and depressing.
I promise listening to their music will be better than pouring boiling water into your ears.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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