InFaMoUsRiCaN, submitted by F.M.J van Hasster. From the nearly incomprehensible yellow-on-white text at the top of the page to the gigantic, distended image of Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls, hatred for this site sets in almost immediately. And that's without even a cursory glance at the actual content. Well, if there could be said to actually be any content. The site is owned by a fat Puerto Rican girl with what I have to imagine are incredibly serious social problems. The majority of the site is nothing but shout outs to various family members and friends, any and all of whom must be thoroughly humiliated to be mentioned amidst the verbal wasteland of this site. Even the scrolling pictures have captions with mind-boggling grammar, such as "ME AFTA I GOT MAH BRAIDS DID" (see below).
JENN wud up homie?u kno u mah dawgie n i alwayz gotcha bak n u kno im alwayz hea 4 u when dem guyz fuk wit chu ...u kno u dont gotta b stressin ova dem cuz u worth more den dat n itz thea lost feel me?u kno im alwayz gonna b hea 4 advice da same way u thea 4 me feel me itz a 50 50 thing lolz u mah girlfrien jus like abby n shana n becky n krystle lolz but yea mama b good love ya muahhhh
ERIKA hey youngsta... u kno i love ya lil azz stay up u dominican lol nosa u half lol love ya baby muah
Michael holla holla u know u mah dawg yo u like da brotha i neva had i got cha bak like nobodyz bussiness stay up yo dont let dem lil white hoez in ya skoo get to u aight love ya 1
JELLYYYYYYY wut up mama u my like mah lil sista i look afta ya badazz violent as hell sheittttttt watch yaself tho aight dont let joselyn get to u even tho u b playin her out like whoa lol love ya ma
WHAT? A dying porpoise could slap its fin on a keyboard and produce more coherent English than this. In fact, I'd like to see that. It would be a welcome change from this load of shit. This fatass slut, like many fatass sluts before her, is convinced that she's the most desirable thing on land. This may be because she ate all of her competition. If she and I were the last two people on Earth, I'd slit my wrists before laying a finger on her. While I'm on the subject, I'd also slit my wrists if I had to read her dam site any more or if I ever found a paragraph giving props to me.
Now, it would be unfair of me to say that there's nothing but shout-outs on this site. The truth of the matter is that there's almost nothing but shout-outs on this site. She also posted her results from every goddamn piece of crap personality test on the internet short of "Which Sexually Transmitted Disease Are You?" There is no reason to feel anything but the purest hatred toward this site. This girl is horribly proud to be Puerto Rican, but I can barely fathom the amount of damage she's doing to the reputation of her people. They don't want her. I think I speak for Americans everywhere when I say we sure as hell don't want her. This bloated street beluga needs to be destroyed before her language skills erode any further and she attempts to communicate by leaning on the semicolon key for hours at a time.
This is your typical consumer model throne. If you just want a cheap prop, it's fine. If you want to actually sit like a king, pony up the cash and get yourself a prosumer model. This entry level stuff is more for a duke or baron at best.
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.