Vampire Church, submitted by forum goon.Finally, a place where I can be at peace with my brethren, safe from the sharp wooden stake of the ignorant public. I have tried to keep my vampirism hidden in the past, but no more. I am at home at the Vampire Church, at last comfortable with myself and my insatiable craving for the blood of infants. The list of testimonials shows you just how great this site is for us vamps.

"I think it's beautiful that there is such a place that we can have to feel peace and not be called a freak"

Freak! But I kid the vampires. This is a great place to gain some knowledge on real life vampires, and maybe learn a little something about yourself in the process. Be sure to make your thoughts known on their spooktastic message board. Just beware that they may trace your IP and show up at your house to drain your blood, or even worse, read you some of their god awful poetry. Invest in some garlic, stat.

– Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.