Interstate EmiOfBrie, submitted by sublimestyle7. Emi Melissa Briet is a person you'd like to punch in the face. I don't really know how to describe her other than by that sentence, mostly because my initial reaction to seeing her website was "good Lord, I'd really like to punch this person in the face." I was a bit hesitant at first, as she claimed to be a woman and I was told that hitting women is wrong unless they really deserve it or you haven't hit her already today, but after seeing her pictures and reading the obnoxious tripe spewed throughout her "cyber-city" of filth, I came to the conclusion that I really, really, really did want to punch this person in the face regardless of their highly questionable gender. Emi Melissa Briet is a cosplay-obsessed IRC anime furry who loves role-playing games, writing FurToonia fan fiction, and talking about every single episode of "Star Trek" ever made. I honestly think Emi Melissa Briet may in fact be a man, as her photos are creepier than Michael Jackson and definitely more masculine. However, she / it keeps on claiming she is a "she" and not a "horrid hellbeast" as I expected, so I may be way off on this assumption. All I know is that I want to punch whatever it is in its face.
Driving your mouse along the Information Superhighway, you come upon an exit to a different realm, a URL offramp to a strange cyber-city. A reassurance marker is in the distance....you drive closer to see what road this is.
bug bug buggy bugbugbug!!! ^.^v
I got my Beetle today! ^.^v And my monthly payments are far lower than I thought they would be.
The cuteness.....it fills me....it is neat! ^.^v
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHAT DO I ROLL TO KILL IT? Take a closer look at the above picture and I think things will start to make sense.
This crazy broad is on more medication that your average AIDS-cocktail chugging medical test patient, which probably explains how she is able to transcend the bounds of normal retardedness and take it to a whole new level, a level so obnoxious that you'll want to punch it in the face. Make sure to check out her "(RL)" photo gallery, which includes her ugly pasty-white fleshblob posing in front of drug stores and PO boxes. Appropriately enough, one of the pictures was taken in Appleton, Wisconsin, so I believe ol' Cliff Yablonski may be on to something here. For another good laugh, look at the images of her fat fuck furry friends who all share their various colorful emotional disorders with each other over IRC on a daily basis. If that's not enough, there's always a helpful heaping of her homegrown Ranma 1/2 fan fiction, which consists of 500,000,000 words, none of which make sense in any context. I hate you Emi Melissa Briet, and my new life's goal is to punch you in the face for your horrible crimes against humanity, you paste-faced butter bucket.
PS: That... thing has a LiveJournal which... it keeps updated on a semi-regular basis. It's pain. I want to punch it in its face.
PPS(UPDATE): Although "she" has taken "her" site down as some horrible act of revenge against SA readers (oh no, a webmaster of a shitty site decided to take it off the Internet, whatever will we do?), it turns out "she" was originally a "he" and "his" name was "Kevin." Yes, that's correct, it was a remarkably ugly man before it turned into a remarkably ugly woman. Look at the LiveJournal for further horrible details. Or better yet, don't look at it's LiveJournal and instead save your gag reflexes the unnecessary exercise. I must however thank "Kevin" for shutting down his / her / its site. If more crappy websites had the same outlook as you, the Internet wouldn't be the vapid, disgusting, vile wasteland it is these days. Bravo, Kevin!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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