Choose Your Own Change Transformation Media, submitted by Pseudonym. I've always believed that if you don't like some aspect of your personality, you should attempt to change it. These people take this outlook one step further and desire to change themselves into dragons, animals, midgets, muscular homosexuals, skinny non-muscular underage homosexuals, and any other sexual deviant fetish you can think of. They've got the oh-so-erotic age progression fetish, age regression fetish, animal morphism fetish, and trans-gender body swapping fetish, which is just absolutely every penis-hardening subject I could possibly ever think of. Oh, and their mom becomes Brad Pitt.
As they lay panting wrapped in each other's embrace, arms and legs intertwined, Dirk asked, "Now aren't you glad that you didn't rip my balls off during hat game?"
"Not sure, I mean the sex is great, but I did, do like being male?" he asked with an emphatic question mark, afraid to phrase it as an actual question.
"Don't worry. You can't take that suit off, but your body will resume its former masculine shape. Except every time you try to have sex faux fur will sprout, your ears will grow and your dick will morph into a pussy, and if you get pregnant you'll turn into a real rabbit doe until you give birth. Whoa, guess I shoulda worn a condom!"
"Huh," Peter looked up into Dirk's face. Dirk seemed to be growing. The whole room seemed to be growing huge. No, he was shrinking. Dirk got up, and Peter ran to the end of the bed and stared into the wardrobe mirror. A real fluffy white bunny stared back. I'm pregnant! he thought in horror, and then in joy he'd get to experience what no other man had, motherhood.
I for one am sure glad Dirk didn't rip Peter's balls off during "hat game." If he did, we probably wouldn't have this great story right here, and that would be an absolute shame for all parties involved. There are almost too many exciting things on this site to list, so I'll try to keep it brief: make a homosexual man talk in AOL-speak and travel back in time, click a popup ad and grow into a disgustingly muscular man who drinks from water fountains, grow 10 feet tall and place homosexual skaters under your armpits, have sex with an Orc shamen, witness Superman have sex with a 10-year old and give birth to a baby boy, and join the 21st century on Pleasure Island, a fun place where you will turn into a humanoid rat that fucks members of the STARS team. What a world!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.