~*~*~*ElLie*~*~*~, submitted by Da Bishop. I might be off my rocker, but I think the rampant scourge of LiveJournal has gone far enough and it's time to put an end to blogs and online diaries of all kinds. When you reach a point where you feel it's necessary to inform the Internet of every single hideous act you've committed as a failed human being, then I think it's time you have your Internet license revoked. And when you reach a point where you are writing incomprehensible shit like what this girl posts, it's without a doubt the proper time to put on your helmet and check yourself into Special Ed rehab, if there is such a thing.
pplz hur @ eljaaaay r fukazzz!!!1! i dun undaztandz it @ al.
OMGZ i dun no y al mah frenz r levn meh!!1 itz so0o0o0o00o nawt k3wli3z. i men, wtfux0rz/
i dydn g3t 2 go0o0o0 2 da britneh knz3rt so0o0o0o00oo dat sux0rz so0o0o0o0 loz!!!1! i men, wtf??? my bf andrew wudnt evn bai tik3tz 4 meh so i wuz lyk "wtfz andrew??!?!?!11? i thot u luv3d meh!!!1!" n he go3z "i d0do lUv3rzZzzZZZZZzz u elli3!!11!!!" n i wuz lyk "i no im so00o0o0o0o luvbl3!!" n hiii go3z "yaaa babiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!! OMGZ SERA CONERZZZZZZZZZ ON!!!!!!!! SHII ROX. onlii shiiz uglii!!!!! bonz babii out da doa git ^ n m000v dun mek meh akt da f00!!11 juz get ya stufz boi cuz im tyrd of hiirin all ur laiz!!!1 babii boi i no ul nevaa fid no0o0o0 stufz as gud as myn!!!!!!!!!!11! u mad ur bed n nau u haf2 sliip w/ meh babiii!!!!!!11!! i saw u der w/ myn on iiz!!!11!! JUZ BONZ!!!!!!!1!! omgz diz s0n r0x0rz azzzzZZZZZzz!!1!1! omgz loli3z im so0o00o herdc0rrr.
INTERMISSION TO PREVENT MY SPELLCHECK FROM EXPLODING.
um so0o0o0o0o0o diz iz wutz nu w/ meh:
forrest brok ^ w/ meh. i h8 him. im gld wr nawt goin out cuz HEZ SUcH a DiKKKKKK!!!!!11!!!! omgz. n i slpt w/ him 2. i thot boiz neva brok ^ w/ u afta u sliip w/ dem. OMGZ mebee hiiz gai n datz y. EW DAT WUD B GROS.
so0o0o0o den i skipd claz 2 hab sexx0rz w/ jamez but it wuznt fun so0o0o0o wen he azed me out i sed no. now im w/ carloz N HIIZ SMowkin!!!1 lOL3rzzzz. but ya.
i dd a math tezt n i dind dew so gud. i h8 mah techaaa. hiiz such a dumaz. y duz hii even botha? n den hii wuz lyk "i no u hav lurning probz, ellie,"
WTFux0rzzzz? i dun hav probz. dumaz. hi niiidz 2 dai. i h8 him.
I'll give this moron a break since she's only 14, but then when I was that age I was slightly smart enough to know how not to act like a retard revved up on PCP and given a colorful keyboard. This is an unholy crusade against everything sane and coherent, and it's truly sad that our education system is not allowed to use totalitarian-style violence to bring kids in line with common sense. Freedom of expression is fine, but as far as I can tell this girl is only expressing that she's stupid and needs to be taken off the Internet before she embarrasses herself and the human race any further.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.