Phantom's Adult Fanfic Archive, submitted by The Paw-Paw Negro Blowtorch. Oh, hooray! If you want to explore the finer depths of erotic literature, then look no further than Phantom's Adult Fanfic Archive. Never in my life have I seen such exciting "Transformers" erotica, and although I wish my life was now over, I know that it can't get any worse.
I am in heaven as air swirls around my exposed breasts, causing the circuitry to prickle. Optimus brings his fingers up to gently tease the black spheres, pointedly ignoring the fiery red nipples in the center. The metal there is extremely malleable with some metamorphic properties, and as his fingers gently trace around the areola, the nipples harden until they stand straight out.
By this point I am panting and writhing against him. I don't think I can take much more of this gentle torture. With a self-satisfied grunt, he brings his fingers up to my distended nipples and tweaks them gently. I cry out as my sod piece becomes flooded. The liquid begins to trickle down my thighs. I don't think I've ever been this wet before. 'Please, Primus, if you're listening, don't let this end!' I plead. It feels so much better than in my fantasies. Still, there's just one thing wrong. At this point in my head I'd be straddling him and running my hands along his chest. I ache to touch him, but I have no problems with the current arrangement. I could cum so easily just like this. My interface port is open, and my clit is as hard as a steel button, begging to be touched. My hips arch into open air, trying to rub against something and find satisfaction.
In case that didn't get your motor running, here is a visual so hot I had to censor it with Bea Arthur's head:
God bless you, Internet! No, really.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.