OpenGoal.TV, submitted by Google. "This site endeavours to collect same-sex romantic/erotic stories about football players and/or personalities." Needless to say, by "football" they really mean "soccer," so those of you looking for good Tom Brady/Drew Bledsoe rape tales are going to have to look elsewhere. Instead, this site features quality writing such as:
I was once covered in the warm glow of his love whenever he was with me, now it seems as if invisible barriers hold me back. And sometimes I wonder whether it would be different if he hadn't committed that foul against Argentina. And I don't know.
He cleared his throat and tried to regain some composure - but didn't move from the smooth strength of Keano's arms, "Because I'm not kissing you again till you shave."
Keano laughed, rubbing his stubbled jaw. "It's not that bad."
"Well, we can't all have smooth baby soft skin, now can we?" said Keano, stroking Becks' hairless chin.
Since I'm ethnocentric and have no idea who any of these people are, here's some Donovan McNabb/Terrell Owens fan fiction I just crafted:
Donovan McNabb had a bad game. He did not throw a touchdown pass to his friend Terrell Owens. He was very sad in the locker room. Terrell Owens came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around him. He was sad because he did not catch a touchdown pass from his friend Donovan McNabb.
"You look sad Donovan," Terrell said. "Would you like some Chunky Soup?"
"NO!" Donovan screamed, throwing his helmet into a well. "I am two depressed!"
"I am depressed to!" Terrell said. He put his arm around Donovan. "You know Donovan..." he said slowly. "You may be number 5 on the roster... but you are number 1 in my heart."
"Oh T.O.," Donovan replied cryilily with a tear. "That means so much to me. You mean so much to me. I am so glad you left the Ravens to be with me, I will treat you right unlike Jeff Garcia."
"Let's not talk about the past," T.O. Said, hushing Donovan. "I may not be your Chunky Soup, but I will fill you up right."
"Oh T.O.!" Donovan proclaimed as they passionately embraced. "I love the way you receive. You make my heart soar like an eagle!"
"How ironic since we play for the Eagles!"
The too of them laughed together and fell asleep in each others arms.
Now isn't that sweet?
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.