Perry Tales, submitted by Geddy Lee. When you are a legend of time and space like Steve Perry, it is only natural that he is going to get some crazy fanatics who dote on his every word and try to climb his electric fence until their badly burned hands complety fall off. And then there are the really nutty people who write fan fiction. Perry Tales is a site filled with extremly lonely individuals who live vivicously through the eyes of the one time Journey frontman, Steve Perry. So what amazing adventures does Perry Tales have in store for you? Lets take a look:Steve Perry doesn't know how to ride a horse but likes to sit on them to relax. Horses wear armour.
"Four o’clock Friday, when every guy’s fancy turns to getting off of work and thoughts of the weekend. And Steve Perry was no different in that regard. He gets back up into the forklift and starts it up. He has to move it to the other side of the warehouse and hoot it up to the charges and then he will be ready to get the hell out of dodge. This warehouse is big and its’ a good ten minute drive to the other side. As he drives by, people wave at him and he waves back. Everybody yelling at everybody else to have a nice weekend. Steve has been at this warehouse for a year and a half now, and driving this forklift for six months. He was talked into it by his boss. His boss told him he would make more money if he drove a forklift so why not. Money is money and it’s not hard, push the lever forward and it goes forward, push the lever backwards and it goes backwards. Simple.
Driving a forklift is alright, but it’s not his life’s ambition. That’s why he joined the band, Alien Project. He’s known these guys for sometime and he wants to be a singer. He’s been trying but it is difficult. Stymied at every turn it seems, but this time might be the charm. They have allot of material, allot of songs and their manager, God bless him, got them a chance to record a demo in Los Angeles this very weekend. The minute Steve heard he was so happy he ran though his apartment celebrating. He was sure he woke up the whole neighborhood. He knows that he woke up Nancy, his girlfriend, she was none too pleased."
This was why the Internet was created. Porn, Nigerian spam mail, and Steve Perry forklift fan fiction. I can die a happy man.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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