Johnny Crack, submitted by willyboy. I have a lot of misconceptions about Canada, but I never once thought of them as a place where untalented dorks made bad rap. Somehow that thought never crossed my mind. Well, sorry Canada, I didn't know what you were capable of.
WHATS REALLY HOOD, THIS IS JOHNNY CRACK, THE SHIT YOUR ABOUT TO HEAR IS RATED R FOR RAW. VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED FOR YOU PUNK MARK ASS BITCHES. I CAN TELL YALL HOMO RAPPERS AINT ACTUALLY FREESTYLIN. MAKE SURE U COP MY CD. HOLLA AT ME IN THE MESSAGE BOARD. ONE
It only gets worse after that, especially when you listen to the retarded music. Somehow rapping about Jean Chrétien and Paul Martin just sounds wrong. Of course it would be wrong of me to talk shit about these rap stars. I tend not to make fun of people with down syndrome. Besides, based on the song "SEE ME IN THE STREETS," which includes the hot rhyme "don't be runnin' around behind my back on the fuckin' internet like a pussy" and a healthy sprinkling of shotgun blast sound effects, it would probably be a bad idea to make fun of these guys.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.