Dating vs. Courtship, submitted by God. If you're one of those hippy, free-love Christian-types, you may want to follow this guide to dating, you SLUT!
Limit your time alone to an agreed standard (example: 10 minutes). If you are talking, studying, or reading then more time can be allowed. Do not touch, massage, or kiss the other person anywhere usually covered by clothes. Focus on the time spent together being quality time. Do Bible studies, run, read, TALK, etc. Making God the #1 priority of your personal life and of your relationship when things are good will allow you to trust Him to work all things together for good when things are bad.
Also, remember that when you do get married and finally have sex, in a way, you're having a threesome with Jesus. And his beard really tickles.
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
gee, sun, thanks for life and warmth and light. you totally did it on purpose and aren't just a stupid exploding deathtrap
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.