Welcome to open mic night at Something Awful! Tonight the best and brightest talents from the Something Awful Forums will be reading selected pieces from Weekend Web in order to personify the wacky forums we know and love. It all started when forum user Jer posted this incredible thread asking forum members to read Weekend Web posts out loud. I have selected the best 25 to star in their very own Weekend Web. Get ready to do a lot of right clicking and "saving as"! Without further ado, let the games begin!

Jer starts us off with this little ditty.

jca has to make a decision that will affect the rest of his life.

chuckelZ goes to an all black school.

Paulness had a close call with the law.

Paulness is sick of his mom and her bullshit!

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Freakypizza: The Sweater Curse

    Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.

  • Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Enthusiast Lingo

    Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

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