Welcome to open mic night at Something Awful! Tonight the best and brightest talents from the Something Awful Forums will be reading selected pieces from Weekend Web in order to personify the wacky forums we know and love. It all started when forum user Jer posted this incredible thread asking forum members to read Weekend Web posts out loud. I have selected the best 25 to star in their very own Weekend Web. Get ready to do a lot of right clicking and "saving as"! Without further ado, let the games begin!

Jer starts us off with this little ditty.

jca has to make a decision that will affect the rest of his life.

chuckelZ goes to an all black school.

Paulness had a close call with the law.

Paulness is sick of his mom and her bullshit!

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

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