The Age Regression Story Archive, submitted by Me. Do you look through old baby albums and end up having to hide an embarrassing erection for the rest of the afternoon? Does your idea of sexuality involve regressing into a small child and then turning into a kitten? Do you think of yourself as "almost a pedophile, but not quite?"
Well, friend, if that's the case the Age Regression Archive is for you. As the Internet's premier collection of erotic age regression stories, there's something for everyone.
For instance, maybe the thought of George W. Bush slowly turning into a child "gets your goat." Well, thanks to the genius of AR scribe "Tazz," you should have beat off material for a week:
Bush realized that they were right. In a reflection he looked like now like a college student and it wasn’t stopping. He had regressed so much now that his clothes were so big on him that they barely able to stay on him. Now Bush was a 10 yr old and wasn’t stopping. What is causing this? Why am I getting younger and… The regression continued until Bush was nothing more than a 6 month old baby in a huge pile of clothes. Laura his wife rushed over to his aid and held him. The news spread quickly of what had happened to the President and it was presumed that this was the cause of Terrorism. Since Kerry had thrown in the title, Cheeny , Nadar and the other candidates were asked to take Bush’s place but they were afraid that it might happen to him so they turned it down, so they had to go to Kerry and he excepted. At the inauguration, Kerry stood with his new Vice President and celebrated and in the audience was Baby George W. Bush being held by his wife who was now his mommy and Kerry simple had an evil smile of face and did his speech. My fellow Americans lets hope for a brighter future for our great nation.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go scrape my eyes out with a brillo pad after reading through that. If your reaction isn't the same maybe you should consider a two-way date with a toaster and a bathtub.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.