Walt Disney World at LARGE, submitted by Abraham.
Our very own Warcraft idiot Caylen “Abraham ‘Caybrahurroughs’” Burroughs has shown me how HE rolls: Disney World ain’t Disney World unless you’re FAT! This site is an embarrassment of riches for big fat people who plan to go to Disney World, people who plan to become big and fat and go to Disney World, and people who are already fat and already at Disney World.
Beware the trials of Dumbo, o hefty ones:
Dumbo the Flying Elephant
I asked the mid-sized Cast Member if my 2 year old, midsized daughter and supersized me would all fit into one Dumbo car. She assured me it was "no problem" so like idiots we all piled in. The seatbelt did not fit, but as we were veterans of this ride we knew we were in no danger of falling out and just hung tight to the 2 year old.
Unfortunately, after "take-off", our Dumbo did not take off. We went around about 3 times in a circle with us lifting up on the lever trying to get ole Dumbo off the ground. Everyone else on the ride was doing fine, so we just laughed it off and figured we'd do okay near the ground. About then we came to a stop and I commented on it being the shortest Dumbo ride I'd ever been on. The CM came right up to us and ushered my kids onto a different elephant. The CM did it quickly and without a fuss.
A magical world of unspeakable ignominy for the whole family!
This is where the excerpt from an article usually goes. Since the content of this update is only intended for cool people, I refuse to place a single word in the path of blundering normal people.
Out here in the Wild West we got some rules for gunfightin', like a pregnant lady ain't gotta be carryin' iron for you to draw on her first.
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