Advanced Masturbation, submitted by Mezzanon. A gentleman looking to spice up his private life in new and occasionally terrifying ways might come across this gem of a website, which not only breaks down and explains "advanced" techniques, but provides a horrible animated .GIF of every act. Even though I censored the hell out of this one, it doesn't hurt my brain any less.
You might want to skip this one if you're at work or in any situation where anyone might come in contact with you for any reason.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.