Advanced Masturbation, submitted by Mezzanon. A gentleman looking to spice up his private life in new and occasionally terrifying ways might come across this gem of a website, which not only breaks down and explains "advanced" techniques, but provides a horrible animated .GIF of every act. Even though I censored the hell out of this one, it doesn't hurt my brain any less.
You might want to skip this one if you're at work or in any situation where anyone might come in contact with you for any reason.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.