Advanced Masturbation, submitted by Mezzanon. A gentleman looking to spice up his private life in new and occasionally terrifying ways might come across this gem of a website, which not only breaks down and explains "advanced" techniques, but provides a horrible animated .GIF of every act. Even though I censored the hell out of this one, it doesn't hurt my brain any less.
You might want to skip this one if you're at work or in any situation where anyone might come in contact with you for any reason.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.