Jackie Stallone's Rumpology, submitted by Satan. Jackie Stallone is sort of weird in the same way that Aquaman sort of likes aqua. I knew she had some sort of collagen overdose in her lips and claimed to be psychic, but what I didn't know is that she studied photos of buttcheeks to glean the pocked expanses of the future.
Just as a print of your fingerprints, palms, soles, and ears tell a story, so does your rump. The lines, crevaces, and folds of your fanny, rear end for those of you in the UK, can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate, and future in luck and love.
Someone call Guinness, I think the record has just been set for the most commas in one psychotic sentence. Apparently Jackie has been practicing rumpology for a while now, so forgive me if I'm behind the times on this particular incarnation of stupid.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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