The Ultimate Fantasy Cue, submitted by Flying-Nugs. If I decide to spend $150,000 on a pool cue, it had better be carved from the bones of God himself and come with a lifetime supply of chalk made of the ashes of the world's most treasured paintings. Even then, that's not quite enough. The cue needs to be covered in nanites that make every shot perfect and swarm the face of my enemy on the off chance that I lose, feasting on his eyes one tiny excruciating bite at a time.
Unfortunately, $150,000 just doesn't go as far as you'd think it would. Instead of the Cue Of Legends, you get The Intimidator (no relation to Dale Earnhardt):
Yeah, that's really a pool cue.
It looks like a World of Warcraft model artist and one of those guys who creates replica Highlander swords held a contest to see who could come up with the most outlandish and useless thing in the world, and we all lost. The thing's covered with razor sharp blades, which makes it the perfect fit for a game played primarily by drunks and loners with questionable morals.
I was betrayed by the bernio bros, the cougars, and this guy from back page I hired to keep me from jumping out a window at the DNC.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
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