Breath Capture, submitted by Abraham. Now you can, um, preserve the smell of a loved one's breath with this exciting device. How does it work? I don't even want to know. The important thing is I'm sure it can be co-opted for all manner of horrible uses, such as collecting farts for a gallery. I suppose you could also have this thing suck in some gasoline odor and huff it every so often too. Really, as stupid as those things are, they make a lot more sense than wanting to preserve somebody's breath.
Everyone is born with it. A desire to be near the ones we care about most. And we find ways to remember them when they're away. A lock of hair. Letters. An old photo. And now there's Breath Capture™. Capture the breath of a loved one or friend and keep them close. Forever.
BREATHE INTO MY VIAL, GRANDMA! I MUST PRESERVE YOUR ESSENCE FOREVER.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.