The Free World Alliance, submitted by Jay. Is there some clearinghouse sale on conspiracy wacko nutjobs here on the Internet that I'm not aware of? I swear, you kill one of their tentacles and five new ones spring up. The Free World Alliance is dedicated to rooting out the most sinister and evil conspiracies that the author could find while shooting up heroin and doing a search for "WHY AM I UNEMPLOYED?" on Google.

The IGORS will tell you it's necessary to disarm - and that you surrender your guns and trust them to protect you from the terrorists and the marauding gangs in the streets. BEWARE of Greeks and government geeks bearing gifts. We know that they've given us AIDS before. So when you see those jack-booted thugs wearing black nin~a outfits, body armor, and goggles, carrying percussion grenades and fully automated weapons come to your door saying "we're from the government, and we're here to help you," remember what G. Gordon Liddy said: "Shoot for the face."

These IGORS (the Invisible Government's Obedient Robotons) will have an alien agenda. Their goal is to establish HELL ON EARTH ... and to kill, control, or incarcerate every free American who doesn't willingly surrender their soul and their body to the doctors of death from the Frankenstein fraternity. The Evilarchy's agent provocateurs will "create a crisis," which will be under their control. Their army of IGOR'S in the inner cities will come to transport you and your family to relocation camps, as did Hitler's henchmen in the late 30's and early40's.

I fully expect that one of their IGOR's (Invisible Government's Obedient Robotons) will get a change of heart and release a bacteriological or chemical weapon at one of the Illuminazi's international conferences. When they gather to work out the details on how we are to die, someone amongst their number may decide to nuke these neo-Nazis as did one General at a board meeting of the Bund who smuggled a bomb in a briefcase for the Fuhrer.

Ooooh, IGOR sounds like one tough cookie! If Frankenstein's monster shows up at my door with an assault rifle, saying "I am from the government, I am here to help you," I'm going to do with G. Gordon Liddy said during Watergate: "run like hell, whiteboy." The author, "Anthony J. Hilder," seems to have a different flair than the rest of the antigovernment conspiracy cornjobs, as he really likes using Photoshop and seems to equally hate almost every single politician and public figure. Usually the conspiracy freaks align themselves with the Conservative party since everybody knows that Liberals are aliens. At least that ugly hog Barbara Streisand is.

PS: There's a Free World Messageboard you can post on, sharing your views of conspiracies across the globe. I'm sure that there are going to be a LOT of funny hilarious witty men doing exactly what I said NOT to do above, but fortunately I honestly don't care.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

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