Captain N Autism - Mark Moore loves Captain N: The Game Master. How much does he love Captain N: The Game Master? Well, at one point in his life, Mark wrote episode reviews of the show that were thousands upon thousands of words long. He then posted these reviews to Usenet; at the time, I was reading Usenet, so you can clearly see how we have reached the point we are at today.
Today, I've specifically linked you to just one of Mark's 5000-word dissertations on Captain N, but by using Google Groups you can easily find the rest. Here's some standard quoting so you know what you're in for:
What the hell was this?
This episode is bad on so many levels. It's also, by no coincidence, my least-watched episode of Captain N.
Let's start at the beginning.
Jeffrey Scott created Wombatman back in Season 1 as a gag character for a few-second appearance in one scene in "The Most Dangerous Game Master". Now, an entire episode has been written about that character. Imagine if a Star Trek writer wrote an entire episode based on a character that, in one scene in one episode in the previous season, had said "Good morning, Captain". Such things shouldn't be done.
I do like how the original voice actors for Wombatman and Nicki (who went unnamed in "Thge Most Dangerous Game Master"; is she named in the script?) were brought back for this episode, though.
Marblopolis Studio World, the world in this episode, isn't even from any video game. I'm guessing that it was created just to allow for an episode to be made based on the "Batman" NES game - using a thinly-disguised Batman rip-off. Even Kid Icarus is wearing a Robin-like mask.
What the hell kind of name is Marblopolis, anyway?
Why is "The Wombatman Adventure Hour" performed live? It's a big opportunity for stuff to go wrong. I've heard of sitcoms and soap operas being performed live sometimes. An action/adventure series is much more complicated, though. Maybe it's a one-time special thing; it would be rather stupid if they did it every week.
I can understand Kid Icarus looking up to Wombatman, but he should know enough to not kick over a piece of furniture and damage the ceiling with an arrow. Lana would get so mad. Why is Kid Icarus on the N Team again?
You may find it hard to tear yourself away from so much wasted life!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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