Yahoo! isn't the only '90s icon trying to use Tumblr to seem cool and relevant again! The Tumblr blog Furby Beat is hoping their neverending firehose of insane memes will earn Furby a place in your heart again. U-nye-loo-lay-doo? [Do you want to play?]
Furby, as you'll no doubt recall from your mandatory "remembering the '90s" re-education classes, was a horrifying bird/gremlin/McDonald's Fry Kid hybrid toy that talked and sang songs in an irritating screechy robot voice. For reasons that still leave top '90sologists baffled, it was extremely popular for a Christmas or two during that bygone era when Beanie Babies, Tamagotchis, and Tickle Me Elmo were all the rage. Two revivals later, the Furbster has only grown weirder: Just as it evolves from speaking "Furbish" (the native Furby language that seems to share linguistic roots with Teletubby-ese) to English over time with its owner, Furby has now learned to speak Internet.
At first glance, Furby Beat looks like just another goofy, over-obsessive fan site, but it's apparently an official dealie run by Hasbro, which is trying to replicate the viral success of its My Little Pony relaunch by churning out Furby memes and GIFs at an alarming rate. They're trying to go for "cute," in the style of Pusheen the cat, but it just comes off as "vaguely sinister." Take, for example, this post about the "Tooth Furby." This is clearly the work of a severely deranged man.
Pull over, you're wanted for first-degree Furbder! XD
Furby Beat's humor usually involves execrable puns with "Furby" awkwardly shoehorned in or sub-Garfield gags. Furby's pen pal is ... an actual pen! The laugh factory is going into overdrive!
The "Current Events" section delivers all the latest Furby "news," usually involving wacky animals like unicorns, giraffes, and llamas. (Furby is clearly an adherent of the "monkey cheese" school of Random.) Meanwhile, the "Pop Culture" section features lame references with Furby-ized plot descriptions, including an inexplicable homage to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
If you're feeling creative, you can try whipping up your own Furby meme! Just look at all the contributions they've received so far, like this photo of a Satanic Furby party that's somehow even more horrifying than the weird GIF stuff. Kah-dah boh-bay. [I'm scared]
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.