Let's say you spotted High Clothing in this space earlier this week, and you decided to buy one of their radioactive-hued outfits. But color-coordination notwithstanding, it's not safe or practical to wear unshod neon socks on today's rough pavements. You need something that protects you from harsh terrain in style, something like: Hot Boots! But this site offers more than just fashionable solutions to the "feet wearing down to fleshy stumps" problem.

For example, you could plan a boot-themed romantic dinner for two!

Or you could spark up a new friendship based entirely on your mutual appreciation of rugged footwear!

Looking for guys (any age) into boots who just like to kick back in their boots and enjoy a weekend/evening relaxing. Into cowboy boots and harness boots. Just wanting someone to hang with and show our boots off. Who knows -- maybe some boot fun will develop!

But be careful; once you've slid your feet into Hot Boots, you might never want to -- or be able to -- take them off!

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.