Private Paparazzi magazine: Your source for design tips and photos of nobodies.Bill Murray once advised people aspiring to be rich and famous to "try being rich first, see if that doesn't cover most of it.... When you become famous, you end up with a 24-hour job." That don't sound too good, Bill Murray. Perverting Murray's advice, some people have decided to try fame first, recruiting Private Paparazzi to chauffeur the test drive. This company, which asks customers to pay up to $100 an hour for its services, recreates one of the most annoying side-effects of stardom -- an omnipresent gnat swarm of clicking cameras -- without reproducing any of celebrity's more attractive perks.
With a crew of photographers documenting the sordid details of their bachelor parties and birthday pub crawls, Private Paparazzi consumers can combine their primary obsessions: Attracting attention in the most gaudy, talentless fashion possible, and ensuring every depressing debauch of their ostentatious social lives ends up in an overstuffed social networking site photo album. Instead of ambushing their targets to ensure unflattering tabloid-style images, the Private Paparazzi shutterbugs coax posed shots, then use "Celebrity Style Photo Editing," achieving the kind of image manipulation only available to the stars (or any random, Private Paparazzi client-caliber loser with Photoshop).
Who *wouldn't* pay to have these guys follow them?
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
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