Sure, you love wrestling. Nothing better than some hot, bulk-on-bulk action when you want to unwind! But today, wrestling has become so corporate, a parade of passionless college-football washouts in expensive snakeskin tights, so distant from what it once was. No worries, though - The PWO (Pro Wrestling Ohio) has you covered. Watch (assuming you're in the greater Cleveland area) "professional" idiots pretend-punch each other in the face, not for money or fame, but for the pride of wearing a belt that maybe two dozen people nationwide will give a shit about.
Actually, the PWO seems like a pretty successful organization, despite its local limitations, even managing to pull "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan out of retirement, a move that was probably equal parts "not enough money" and "too many concussions." They have their shit together enough to get broadcast on local TV about once a month, if I'm reading the capitalized red text correctly. I imagine this schedule slows down the progress of their soap-opera storylines, but I also imagine that's not really what the enlightened viewing community is interested in (I think it's the bleeding).
Looking at their "Star" roster, I'm seeing some great wrestling names, like Matthew Justice, Hobo Joe, Super Hentai, and Krimson, who is most definitely not Sting, who was most definitely not The Crow. The recaps make it sound like these guys are raking in the dough, too, especially considering that Raven (who I think also might have been in the WCW) is getting paid $100K to win a wrestling match. Which seems like a pretty nice bonus, given that I'd assume he'd want to win the match anyway.
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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