@KenJennings - This infinite-time Jeopardy! champ isn't just beauty-- he's got the brains for jokes, too!
@jakefogelnest - Radio, TV, and podcast hero, not to mention level 69 music and pop culture wizard.
@BESTPORNCOMMENT - An ongoing collection of comments posted on porn videos. No more watching all those icky nude bodies to get to the good stuff.
@TriciaLockwood - Some of the sharpest wit you can find on a computer. And poetry, too!
@ChuckGrassley - Regardless of your politics, it's pretty enjoyable how completely inept Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa is at Twitter.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.