Princess Peach is my anti-friend.
"Hey guys, Sam Raimi's guy just emailed me and said he was going to make my fanfic into a movie!!" I know this post right here alone could fill your quota of painfully sad things to read for like an entire month, but please stay with me. We have a ways to go.
I used to dream about Muzzy, that language teaching sasquatch thing, even though I never owned the tapes. "Booooonjooour... je suis... la jeune fille...." We never got it on, though.
Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no
You can't kill what's already dead, just like you can't ask to get fat what's already going swimming with its shirt on.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
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