According to eHow, step one in dunking a basketball is "have big hands." You can still slam, even without risky black-market hand-expansion surgery, if you fulfill the second requirement: "Be a good jumper." But how can you develop "mad hops"? As always, the secret lies in a stark, largely graphic-less Web site that makes a lot of vague promises.
Design-wise, Vertical Jump Guide is brutally mundane, down to a dry seven-minute voice-only video. No jumping-guy GIFs, no pixelated pyrotechnics to celebrate "explosion training," no Double Dribble cutscenes. The only excitement comes from the male-enhancement-style testimonials: "I gained a whole 12 inches in the first 8 weeks!"
Vertical Jump Guide will help you "dunk over all those players that laughed at our inability to rise up" as long as you follow a specific program that gives you access to special techniques, the kind of stuff you'd never learn about unless you consulted a trainer or performed a rudimentary Internet search. Vertical Jump Guide is certainly right about how you can't get straight answers from those "so-called jumping experts." I'm so fucking tired of those assholes.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.