According to eHow, step one in dunking a basketball is "have big hands." You can still slam, even without risky black-market hand-expansion surgery, if you fulfill the second requirement: "Be a good jumper." But how can you develop "mad hops"? As always, the secret lies in a stark, largely graphic-less Web site that makes a lot of vague promises.
Design-wise, Vertical Jump Guide is brutally mundane, down to a dry seven-minute voice-only video. No jumping-guy GIFs, no pixelated pyrotechnics to celebrate "explosion training," no Double Dribble cutscenes. The only excitement comes from the male-enhancement-style testimonials: "I gained a whole 12 inches in the first 8 weeks!"
Vertical Jump Guide will help you "dunk over all those players that laughed at our inability to rise up" as long as you follow a specific program that gives you access to special techniques, the kind of stuff you'd never learn about unless you consulted a trainer or performed a rudimentary Internet search. Vertical Jump Guide is certainly right about how you can't get straight answers from those "so-called jumping experts." I'm so fucking tired of those assholes.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.